How Many Queers Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb
by evenflo78
Summary: Outtake of Couples Therapy written for the Two Wrongs Make a Right Challenge. Featuring my two favorite boytoys. Dirty talking Jason and hot-to-trot Lafayette.


**A/N: Here is another outtake from Couple's Therapy. Its a little dip in to the mind of Lafayette, which I have to admit, was tons of fun to write. It pretty much just chocked full of lemony slashy goodness, so if that offends you, run for the hills. I promise not to take offense; it's not everyone's cup-o-tea.**

**I bow down humbly to the greatness that is ****Krismom. ****I'm afraid to admit how much I rely on her. Big muchas gracias too to ****A Redhead Thing**** for pre-reading. *smoochies***

**Disclaimer: Don't own them, but I make them do 'Bad Things'.**

**LPOV**

As I stood there watching my man swap out the light bulb in the front room, I couldn't help but to think what a lucky bitch I was.

His tight as hell jeans hung low on his hips, showing off every delicious rippling muscle of his torso. I may have been in shape, but he was cut than a mother fucker.

_Like Campbell's soup._

_Mmm, mmm good!_

The gods themselves couldn't have created such perfection. He was carved from precious, flawless granite with precision and an attention to detail that was as sinful as it was beautiful.

I wanted to trace the lines of his muscle with my tongue until it was imbedded in my memory, to never be forgotten.

_One lucky bitch, in-fucking-deedy._

I palmed my aching crotch. That mother fucker was already straining against the front of my jeans. It only intensified as I admired Jason's sweaty sinewy muscled flesh as it undulated with his movements in the dim light streaming in from the kitchen.

I must have made some sort of throaty noise, because as soon as Jason stepped down from the chair he turned to face me. The pure look of lust searing me with his gaze caused my cock to twitch against my palm. I couldn't wait to have him.

_Fuck me._

_Yes, please._

As if reading my mind, Jason spoke, his voice as firm and demanding as the ache just south of my belt was.

"Come 'ere baby. I wanna fuck that pretty mouth of yours."

Fuck, if I didn't whimper like a little bitch. The man had me at _'come'_.

I dropped to all fours and crawled over to him, licking my lips, and watching as he deftly undid the button-fly of his jeans and dropped them to the ground.

I loved that he never wore underwear.

And I loved that he mowed the lawn.

His cock sprang free, standing long, firm and proud awaiting my eager lips and tongue. And it was all mine for the taking. Boy, would I take it. My hunger for him was relentless and insatiable.

I placed my hands on his hips only to snake them around to the back and give that delicious ass a squeeze. Not that there was much give, boy had buns of mother fucking steel, but it sure as shit felt good beneath my rough hands. Smooth, tight and dimpled in ALL the right places.

His cock twitched as I ran my fingers down the crack of his ass, teasing him. Licking my lips, I prepared to feast a la Jason's silky smooth, yet hardened shaft.

I ran the flat of my tongue up the length of him once and shook my head as he gripped my head and tried to force my mouth over the swollen head. As much as I wanted to taste the little glistening droplet that had formed at the tip, I was going to draw it out as long as I could.

Leaving one hand on his rear, I moved the other to the front, palming the twins beneath his length and enjoyed the weight of him in my hand.

Placing several open mouthed kisses up the length of him, I smiled around his cock when I heard him say, "Fuck baby. Stop teasing me."

I circled his head a few more time with my tongue before placing my lips on the moist tip. Pulling back, I locked eyes with Jason and licked what he left behind from my lips, enjoying the shudder than ran through his body.

Without any warning, I moved my mouth down his cock, taking in as much as I could and sucked until I felt my cheeks hollow out.

"Oh, yeah. Fuck, that's it, baby. Your mouth feels like fuckin' heaven." Jason half moaned, half grunted as I worked my mouth up and down his length. His hands were on my head, but not so much guiding me as trying to steady himself. I think.

I may have been thicker than Jason, but he certainly had me in the length department, so I used my hand to work what wasn't being licked, sucked and stroked with my mouth.

As his grunts and movement became more strained and stiff, I brought a finger into my mouth and ran the moistened digit through his thighs, and behind his balls, teasing the puckered flesh between his cheeks. Jason's cock jumped and swelled in my mouth as I dipped the tip of my finger in his hole.

"Shit. Ah. Fuck." A stream of mumbled curses fell from his lips and I knew I was about to get a mouthful of his oh-so-yummy spunk.

So I was surprised when he pulled away, his cock leaving my mouth with a slurp and a pop. I stared up at him for a moment before he spoke.

"I'm gonna be in you when I cum," he said as he stalked around me and placed the palm of his hand on the seam of my jeans between my ass cheeks.

I fucking shivered, and had I not already been on my knees, would have fallen with the quakes of desire that racked through my body. Hell, he didn't have to ask me twice.

I stood up and turned to face him, only to be turned back around, by Jason's strong arms. His hands made quick work of my zipper, and I moaned when I felt his warm hand around my aching hardness. With Jason's chest pressed firmly against my back, it seemed like every one of our heaving breaths brought us closer together.

"I'm gonna bend you over that couch," Jason started, his body urging me towards aforementioned destination with deliberate steps. "And I'm gonna fuck you," He continued, pushing my pants down around my ankles so that I could step free of them. "And you're gonna scream my name when you cum," He finished, accentuating his words by running his thumb over the head of my swollen cock, and causing me to groan with anticipation.

With one hand placed firmly on my hip, he moved the other to my jaw, turning my head towards his, and covering my mouth with his.

_Fuck,_ he tasted so good. Always of sweet tea and peppermints, but I could taste the hint of scotch left over from dinner on his velvet tongue and it made my knees weak.

I don't know where he got the lube from, or even give a good damned how he applied it without me knowing, but when I felt his finger probing me, stretching me, I was forced to free my lips of his as I groaned deep and loud. I wiggled against his hand and hissed when I felt a second and third finger slip in.

"You ready for me, baby?" Jason purred against my ear, licking and nipping at the sensitive lobe. All I could do was bob my head between the squirming and panting he had me doing with just the simple touch of his fingers.

I tried not to sigh at the loss when his fingers slipped free, considering I knew what was to come, but my love tunnel, was practically purring, needing to be stroked like a good little pet.

When I felt his tip circle me once, twice, and then a third time, I was a half a beat away from begging for the damn thing. I wanted him in a bad kind of way. And then he dipped in just a bit and I whimpered my approval, pressing back against his hips and urging him deeper.

We both groaned when he slipped into my depths, filling me, stretching me. _Oh, fuck. So good._ I was so ready for him that I hated the pause he gave allowing me to adjust, and clenched around him to get him busy.

And busy he got, moving slowly at first, and then with more conviction. Our bodies moved together with a practiced, fluid motion that was oh, so very right. The sound of his sweat covered body slapping against mine filled the silence between our mutual satisfied moans and groans.

When he leaned away from me and started stroking my cock in rhythm with his movements, my head fell forward with a grunt, and my arms lost their strength.

Fuck me, I didn't care. The next minute I was pulsing in his palm, grunting his name, and riding through waves of ecstacy, watching the stream of spurts as they shot over the back of the couch. The wet, slimy stain coated my stomach as I completely slumped over the furniture, now supporting all of my weight. I was spent.

And with one, two, three more thrusts, Jason was _fuck, fuckity, fucking_, and gripping my hips for dear life as he orgasmed. His pleasure, no doubt, equivalent to mine, as I listened to his uneven breath until he twitched within me, and finally sagged against me, equally spent.

"Told…you…you'd…scream…my…name, bitch." He grunted between breaths.

He was right, probably, for all I knew, I could've recited the German alphabet when I went into the O phase. But I turned to face him and covered his sweaty lips with mine, humming my assent.

"Shower?" I asked when he finally slipped free of me.

"I wash, you rinse?" He winked at me as he slipped the condom off his flaccid sex. I had the sudden urge to lick it clean, wanting to taste him.

"Sounds good to me." I purred, following him to the bathroom.

He wrapped the used rubber in some tissue before dropping it in the trash. And I had the perfect view and privilege of seeing his bare ass as he bent over the tub and adjusted the water to the right temperature, before flipping the shower on.

Fuck, I wanted him again. In the shower. Already. Hot damn, I couldn't wait.

When he turned back to face me, I knew he was on the same thought trail as I, and to watch his cock swell right in front of my eyes was a beautiful sight to see. And watching him watch mine was an even more beautiful sight.

Fucking A.

It was time for round two.

**A/N: This was inspired by the Two Wrongs Make a Right Challenge, without which, this probably never would have existed. Thanks to ****sapfirerose****!**

**Thanks so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed.**

**You know what to do with that little button down there.**

**MUAWWWW!**


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